Saturday, April 14, 2007

Who was I kidding?

Why did I have a bath on Thursday afternoon and shave all my legs etc, if I was going to be strong, and not jump into bed with Ian? Who was I kidding? As soon as I saw him we hugged and kissed, and it felt right. We talked; he told me he thinks about me every day, that he was such an idiot for messing it up. I told him I was pleased to see him (I didn’t know whether I would be), that we can’t go back to being a couple, but could be good friends.

As the night went on it was getting clear that the physical attraction is still there, and we kind of decided maybe we’ll be friends that sleep together every so often. After 6 weeks of no sex, the night turned out to be very satisfying. So was I weak? I have my needs, and we’re very compatible that way, I don’t know whether I’ll ever find that sexual comfort zone with anyone else. A relationship should be based on love and trust, and not just sex. I have made it clear I can’t be anything more than a friend; I need to be single at the moment, as I have too much to do. Also I can’t be let down again. I don’t need someone who is essentially a drifter and always will be. Ian knows this, and I think he understands where I’m coming from.

Having sex with an ex is bit like getting drunk, we know that getting drunk is probably not a good idea, but we still go ahead and do it again and again.


Rae said...

and now what's happening ? Tell all.
Hope you are OK about everything.

miss-cellany said...

Ewww.You are so right, sleeping with exes is like drinking. No judgement, just hope you're OK. Like drink, you can wake up the next day feelin relatively OK, or like a big pile of poo... Hope it was the first of those, hope you are OK x

Fi said...

At least it's good sex I suppose - I keep having crap sex with blokes to bolster my (crushed) ego.
And lo and behold... I've now got raging cystitis - there's always a price.
Tread carefully my dear (if you can stomach advice from someone who's clearly very messy when it comes to sex/r'ships/life)!