Typical saturday night

Tonight has been a typical Saturday & I've just had to go upstairs & change the bedclothes completely as G was sick everywhere. While that's not typical. What was typical was seeing G Get more  pissed as the day went on. Him getting annoyed with our Dog, who picks up like I do, when he gets pissed &  actually gets  jumpy &  scared of him. G getting annoyed with me & getting angry at me if I say anything he may not agree with. G really wanted to watch a film tonight which we had to buy & then due to drinking all day had to go to bed well before it finished. Don't get me wrong I was relieved when he went up to bed but no rest for the wicked. I've just been up clearing up sick. He is back asleep now. Let's hope it stays that way Xxx

Struggling until payday

So with other families when money is running out before payday they may budget to make sure they have enough essentials to last. That's what I would do but then I'm with G. Alcohol is expensive. Last weekend we had £40 to last until payday & we had all the shopping for the weekend. G went through what he had to drink for the whole weekend in 2 days,  & spent £12 on cider in Sunday. £6 on Monday £6 on Tuesday and  the same the rest of the week, extra pennies were  spent on bread milk etc. 

We had to borrow some money & got very limited food for this weekend & I like a drink at the weekend but I cut back & we planned so we could make sure G had enough to last until payday (Wednesday) He cannot seem to pace  himself. He can't seem to realise there will be no more & it's Saturday night & he had got through all his supplies. Tonight I could not relax as he could not stand without falling over until he got up to bed. He is in bed now. Phew. The problem is if there is no money for Cider & he has nothing to drink he will start hallucinating & I can't manage his detoxing. 

I have a good job with a good wage but every month we run out of money mainly due to the cost of alcohol G needs. It's embarrassing if I am honest to  say that's why I can't do something. I am also quite angry about not having bread or milk for my coffee because we had enough money but it went on cider. 

Tonight Geoff 's right hand went numb for a moment & I thought his mouth did drop one side for a bit bit it came back. Phew, but I thought if he was having a  stroke an ambulance would take him to hospital but I would have no money to visit him or pick him up until Wednesday. Only G can sort this out. He does have days in the week when he cuts back. He needs to cut back. Step up. Get a job & start contributing towards the cost  of his alcohol !

Its worrying but not all bad

I've had a bit to drink tonight. I do enjoy a drink too, but I get a bit drunk only at weekends when I don't have to wake up for work the next day. This week I have been getting increasingly worried as the days G is being careful is less &  more days he  is drinking more ciders than we can afford. I say afford as in financially but also for his health.  Last night he was violently sick & he said it was nothing to do with alcohol. It was to do with using an alternative to Fry light!! I am getting worried he is slowly killing  himself and I can't stop him.

I want to note however while I am discussing the difficulties of living with an alcholic that when G is being careful, taking it easy, and is not pissed he is great. He is so caring. He does all the housework, all the cooking, he does lots in the garden: growing potatoes, lettuce. Tomatoes etc. we can eat. We enjoy  watching period & detective dramas together that we would not enjoy so much on our own. We play scrabble & trivial pursuit. It's not all bad. When he does not drink too much, and I don't have to tell him what we did half an hour before it's all good.

Hopeful for the weekend

After last weekend, when Monday was almost as bad G felt really poorly on Tuesday & cut right back on the cider. Wednesday he popped to the local shop instead of heading to a supermarket & bought Blackthorn which is evil. It's much stronger & not as clean so he got quite pissed in the day & then carried on drinking too much.  He had couple really angry nasty rants at me which seemed to come out of nowhere. Thursday we had a big night out: a concert which was postponed due to Covid for a band he loves. He was having to go to the toilet all day & I was worried he would say he couldn't go but it was ok. We went. It was fantastic.  Today he has been taking it easy & due to a couple of poorly days in the week I am hopeful he will be careful with his intake this weekend & it will be a better one.