Emotional wrecking

Things were going well: G was managing to moderate most of the time. He had a blip on Sunday & then after I finished work today he has been completely overtaken by anger. Anger about everything: the world, angry with our dog, & very angry with me. We were just watching a programme just now & then he turned again. I've been shouted at for 3 quarters of an hour. I couldn't take it anymore & have come up to bed. Luckily he's now gone quiet. Phew. He is practising emotional wrecking. 

Health challenges

It's been a long time since I last posted. I went for a MOT at the doctors after getting chest pains & breathlessness. Ended up having a CT scan of heart and it was discovered one of my arteries was almost completely blocked. A few weeks later, a stay in hospital & surgery to have a stent fitted to clear the blockage, I am feeling fine. I am now really changing my diet, cutting back on fat &  salt, & switching to wholemeal bread etc. It's just as well I don't drink anymore.

Since I've stopped drinking G has been pacing himself more, setting himself daily limits. He has had the occasional night where he's hit the fuck it button but they have been fewer. That is until last night He was not overly drunk but he was very angry & blew up into a rage shouting at me for about 40 minutes. The thing I don't get is after he does this, I am an emotional mess but he just brushed it off & pretended  nothing has happened. It takes me ages to recover such a verbal attack. He says such hurtful horrible things & it takes a while to recover from that. I can't just smile & let it go like he does.it

I got myself a new diary this year: A year of inspiration for The mind, body & spirit. January's theme is calm. While he was shouting at me I just kept telling myself: Calm Calm. It's difficult to stay calm when living with a very hyper often angry person. 

However most of the time it's getting better. Have to look for the positives.