Tuesday, March 18, 2008

New 'non smoking' me

This is an extra posting, as on Friday I went to the cash point and it wouldn’t let me have any money. So by Sunday my tobacco had run out, and I decided it was therefore a good time to bite the bullet, and give up smoking.

On Sunday I did have a ciggy in the morning as I was finishing off my tobacco, and the day wasn’t too bad. I felt on edge and restless and couldn’t relax, but it was nothing like what would hit me on Monday.

Yesterday (Monday) was a real trial, I never realised how bad nicotine withdrawal is. I had given up for 11 years before, but when I gave up I was really ill with pleurisy, and this had obviously masked the withdrawal. As it was a quick decision due to lack of money I couldn’t get to a chemist to get patches, and I really wanted to try without, as nicotine is out of your system in 2 days. In preparation I finished my book, and wrote out notes which I’ve posted around the flat.

Today I am pleased I didn’t get patches as nicotine is now out of my system, but after yesterday I can completely understand why so many people opt for them. So how can I explain yesterday? Like ‘a cat on a hot tin roof’ would be a good comparison. I couldn’t stay still, and I couldn’t focus or concentrate on anything. If anyone talked to me, I would look at them as if I was listening, but their words literally went over my head. I went from having an extremely overwhelming urge to cry, which I did uncontrollably quite a lot during the day, to running around the house not actually getting anything together, and feeling really angry (which is quite unlike me).

I would not recommend driving while withdrawing from nicotine! I never get road rage, but I wanted to run my car into somebody yesterday, it didn’t matter who it was. There was a woman walking along beside her friend, but she was walking on the road, and I was thinking ‘how dare she walk on the road’ and had an overwhelming urge to run into her. Funny thing is along that road I don’t often walk on the pavement either. My anger and rage was completely irrational and all consuming.

Everything I had mislaid came into my mind yesterday, and I spent hours looking for lost items. I did find my hairbrush, but by the time I found it everyone knew that is would cost about £20 to replace it. I had so much nervous energy I could have really cleaned the place up if it wasn’t for the fact I couldn’t focus or concentrate on anything. All in all it wasn’t a nice day. I felt like there was something really missing, although I had previously not smoked for 11 years, so I knew I didn’t miss smoking for most of that period. I yo-yoed between hysterical tears, irrational anger and being completely manic and hyper.

In the evening I met Rach for a swim, and as I swam, although I still had lots of nervous energy, I started to feel slightly less stressed. I was able to talk and listen (which I hadn’t been able to do during the day), and did not feel like killing any swimmers who got in my way. Swimming is definitely a great stress reliever. I swam 42 lengths. I was pleased we had met up, as I could weigh myself at the start of my quitting smoking attempt. I lost a 1lb and am now 10st. As I’ve said before I like the weight I am now, and I’m going to try my hardest not to put any weight on.

In the book ‘Free yourself from smoking’ it says most people put on between 5lbs and 10lbs when they stop smoking, which is down to a number of factors. One is that the metabolic rate does slow a bit, which hopefully I am counteracting with my increased exercising. The other reasons are your appetite does increase and that people often replace ciggies with snacks. As I’m still calorie counting I can make sure if I snack, I am snacking on low calorie foods and keeping within my daily limit.

It has been difficult losing the weight I have lost. I have been exercising almost every day, and eating on average 1500 calories a day, but still only losing weight very gradually. I still think my thyroid isn’t working as well as it should be, and my metabolic rate is slower than it should be. My ideal scenario would be to stay the weight I am and not put any weight on, but this does seem unlikely. Only time will tell if I can achieve this. Watch this space!

Friday, March 14, 2008

New me, Week 9/10

It’s just a quick posting today. On Friday last week, Rach wasn’t very well, so I went swimming on Saturday instead, and as it was quiet I kept swimming after I had done half a mile, and managed to swim ¾ of a mile. I was very chuffed with myself. As I said in the last posting, I hadn’t been exercising as much as I thought I should be, and the past couple of weeks I’ve rectified that. I’m now doing an exercise DVD 3 times a week.

As I’ve said before it takes 6 weeks for something to become a habit, and I think exercise is definitely a habit now. It takes 6 months however for it to become part of your lifestyle, and I need to keep going for another 3 ½ months before I get to that stage. It does seem more likely now that I will stick with this healthy lifestyle.

As Rach is now without a car, I’m not meeting her for swimming today, so I’m swimming in Wadebridge instead. The only problem with Wadebridge is there is no weighing machine, so I’m unable to know if I’ve managed to get past 10 stone 1. Hopefully next week I will be able to check on my weight.

I’ve also just finished a great book, and have consciously decided not to start another novel until I have finished my ‘Free yourself from smoking’ book. So I’ve now read another couple of chapters, and will be setting a date soon. I can’t keep putting it off, and I know I need the psychological support the book can give me.

Although I don’t know if I’ve lost any weight, I’m still on track and its been another successful couple of weeks.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

New me, Week 7/8

Well it seems like I’ve reached a plateau; I’m still 10st 1, which I’ve been for a few weeks now. I believe it’s normal to reach a weight you can’t seem to get past, however I have also had a few not so good days calorie wise, mainly due to socialising with friends and drinking wine. Again alcohol is what adds the calories, as I am eating really healthily within my calorie limit. Also the past few weeks, either Rach or I haven’t been able to make a Monday swimming, so I’ve only been swimming once a week.

On a positive note I brought myself a pair of jeans this week as there was a sale on (they were a bargain at £7). I picked out 3 pairs to try, 2 size 12s, and 1 size 10. The 12’s were too big, and the size 10s were a good fit around the legs, with a bit of spare space for growth around the waist. I was so chuffed. As the jeans I wear a lot, still have a bit of overhang above the waist, I didn’t think I’d gone down a dress size. After buying the size 10s I dug out some jeans I was wearing a year and a bit ago, that I had put away because I couldn’t fit into them, and they fit me again.

I am very happy with the weight I am now, and would say it’s my ideal weight. However I want to lose more so I can afford to put on some pounds when I give up smoking. On the smoking front I have consciously cut down, and one night last week I had my last cigarette at 7.45.

I’ve had a busy few weeks, and the exercising has suffered a bit. I have been doing an exercise DVD twice a week, which is less than I was doing. I am going to try to up this, to at least 3 sessions a week, even if one of those sessions is only 20 minutes. I do think the reason I feel happy with my body at the moment is not only due to the weight loss, but also due to feeling more toned because of the exercise. This would explain why I am feeling better about my body now, than I was a couple of weeks ago, when I was the same weight.

Feeling healthier, on the whole I feel is having an effect on my state of mind, and I am feeling more positive and less likely to feel down about how I look.