A few steps forward & a few back

I knew I hadn't posted for a while but did not know it had been so long. In June I had a couple of horrible weekends on high alert waiting & hoping for G to sleep to give me & him a break from his drinking & then he got ill again & for a couple of weeks (longer than other times) he was being really careful & limiting the number of ciders he would drink in a day. Evenings were pleasant. We actually watched dramas together without pausing it every minute or 2 & taking  up to 3 hours to watch an hour programme. Although I don't mind pausing & chatting I hate it when a drama is bitty.  

He did say he rang the doctors about getting help with trying to cut back on drinking & he told me they are making a referral but I'm not sure if he did as I've not heard anymore about this. Generally he is still aware & trying to cut back but the numbers of drinks in a day has risen again. He is not getting as pissed as much, but he is having some days nights where he is still. Friday for example was a pretty horrible night where G got drunk, & I was totally exhausted after my working week & just wanted to chill & watch something & he got angry with me & shouted at me for a good hour because I'm boring. I'm like a 95 year old woman not 57. I am however 57 and do not have the energy I had when we first met. 

Tonight  as I am on holiday this week G had bought some Pimms and we were watching Wimbledom. He had Pimms as well, & topping up his daytime cider & drinking it quickly he has got really quite drunk. However the good thing is he didn't get angry & took himself to bed when the TV got blurry. We have talked about if he got help & managed to stop drinking I would stop as well & I will, but for now I drink a lot slower. I mostly pace myself, set myself a limit & go to bed when I've had that limit. I do have a bit too much occasionally but I can count the number of times I have got a bit drunk myself this year on less than  2 hands. 

There has been progress & less blips recently. It has however been a dedicated forward & then a few back.