Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Clear out the clutter, clear the mind.

Today I’ve cleaned, cleared and sorted, and did such a thorough job it took 6 hours to do one room. It was very satisfying. I now know where everything is and I can put my hands on any piece of work or research I need.

I came across my positive book, which my friend Rachel gave to me when my depression was totally debilitating. My positive book is basically a notebook in which I wrote three positive things that happened every day. Looking through it was interesting, some days I didn’t manage to add anything, but I mostly made sure I wrote something down even if I didn’t manage three things. Here are some of the things I wrote:

“I saw 4 people this afternoon” “Had peaceful evening” “Managed alright at meeting” “Sunny day” “Didn’t get a parking ticket” “Talked in group” “Felt organised” “Did some baking” “Someone said to me in a shop at least there’s one pretty girl in Cornwall” (that one was very flattering)

I would recommend it to everyone going through periods of hopelessness and despair. I remember at the time it was very difficult to think of anything positive, but as I did it more it got easier. When I wrote “I talked in a group” I am sure I had more negative thoughts about that group situation, as even if I spoke up my anxiety meant I felt I was weak, and a non productive member of society. However by having to write something positive down, I trained myself to start thinking about what went well instead on focusing on the negative. It was a valuable and welcome exercise which I did for many months.

I can’t say it brought back good memories, but it did help me realise how far I’ve come.

I put a lot of energy into cleaning today, and no corner, wall, cupboard etc, was left unturned. I did however do something really stupid, during my mission to clean. While I was cleaning the toaster, I turned it upside down to shake out all the crumbs and while I was cleaning it I pushed the button down (which you put down to cook the toast) with my fingers inside, and gave myself an electric shock. It was actually quite powerful as I blew the electrics in the flat. I was buzzing for ages afterwards, but next time I clean the toaster I will definitely turn it off at the plug.

I’m totally shattered, but love looking around at my exceptionally tidy frontroom/kitchen. I can now focus on writing for a few days without thinking I ought to be clearing up. Unclutter the house and it helps unclutter the mind.

No comments: