Well I got all my work done, handed in and marked for the first semester, and yesterday I got the results. I passed!!!!! I’m now doing the Non fiction and Features units, and again the work is full on. After a two week break, it’s been diffcult to get back into the routine, and producing work to deadlines again. However despite finding depression rearing it’s ugly head, and finding the tears coming easily, especially in classes, I have kept up with all the work. I almost gave up, but I know I want to do this, so I have decided to ride the storm.
I saw a counsellor yesterday in the afternoon, and while talking through stuff, I realised one reason why I keep getting periods of depression. It may be a lot to do with the fact I don’t like, and avoid, conflict. Instead any anger and bitterness I may have is stored away inside.
After the counsellor I went to a see a guest lecturer, and although it was on for 2 hours instead of 1 as I had thought, the time flew. It was about reviewing music books films etc, and it was really interesting. I left at 6.30, after being at Uni since 8.30am, feeling quite drained. I put some loud rocking music on my stereo (Lamb and Obedient bone), and screamed along to it on the way back. I must do that more often, it was a great release. I had to pick Megs up from near Bodmin and as it was so late we picked up a takeaway. I finally got home at 8.30 and as I was rushing back, a rabbit which was safe by the hedge, ran in front of my car and I felt myself go over it. I was devastated. I have never killed any animals while driving before. It has as much right as I have of living in this world, and I had taken it’s life.
It was a day of very emotional ups and downs. Despite waking up this morning with very puffy eyes, I am getting on with writing and researching. I will ride the storm.