High alert

There are many times I should post & I don't. A week or so ago I had a really horrible night of G's extreme anger. I could tell you the date if you looked in my diary. G spent about an hour & a half shouting at me really nasty stuff. I'm the biggest bitch in the world, nastiest person ever  etc. I'm not. I know that & I don't need to go into why I'm not in this post. Up until G started to realise his drinking was affecting his health I hated weekends.  I was on high alert, high anxiety all the time after a week working. Even when working I've had days when G has been so pissed when I'm working  I've been so worried about background noise if I've been in a meeting or on a call with my manager. 

Anyway that's not the reason I am posting tonight. The main reason I am posting tonight is now we have a dog & tonight Tiger (who is 8  we've have only had him 6 months) has been on high alert. I've had years to get to know G but Tiger hasn't & when G's drunk & hyper now it's not just affecting me: it's affecting Tiger & I spent a lot of time tonight cuddling him & trying to stop him from shaking & panting & this happens a lot since we had him. 

G wanted a dog (as did I) but G gets annoyed with him when he's not as affectionate with him (because he's nervous & scared) & he is horrible to Tiger. I can cope with him being horrible to me but a dog doesn't  understand. I knew what G was like,  but I really did  not think he would be that way with a dog. I thought a dog would calm him & not be another reason for his extreme anger. I feel so guilty I've  put a dog into this situation & I'm worried the high stress Tiger is experiencing will shorten his life. He is such a gorgeous dog & does not deserve to have to deal with such a selfish bastard. (I was trying to think of the words  to descr ibe G &  when he is not drinking too much he's anything but,however  when he's drinking  I think  got the description right)